Hello friends! Isn’t it a million dollar question for today’s generation, whether to take the plunge or not! No -no, not in a cold swimming pool or something like that. I actually mean the precipitous decision of getting married or not. There is first compatibility issue to ponder on, beside surrendering lifestyle independence and pandering to each other’s whims and fancies might weigh heavy on one’s mind and one seem to dither.
But it wasn’t so earlier, eligible boys and girls, in most docile manner, obeyed their parents’ dictat and more often than not were happily settled in marital bliss. Arranged marriages were the norms of the day and the couples fell gradually yet deeply for each other, navigating the ups and downs of life together.
I will tell you a very funny and interesting real life story of my maternal grand father’s marriage to my grandma. Though both of them left us long ago, the sweet memory remains. My grandpa, a very tall, fair and handsome young man, was at that time, doing his graduation , living in a hostel. Their family although affluent land lords, lived in a nearby semi urban town.
He had a dashing personality which made him quite popular in the boy’s college, everyone felt proud to be friends with him. When some outsider bengali speaking boys join their hostel, he led his gang of friends to pull their legs in every opportunity they got. Those boys felt harassed yet chose to keep their mouth shut. Although he himself belonged to a bengali family, but he considered himself native to the state of his birth.
One day a message came from home that he had to visit a distant town, if he wished to see his would be bride, as his marriage is going to be fixed with her. Out of curiosity and fun, he decided to go there along with few of his crony friends.
What did he discover there!! Among those boys he used to tease, was one of his would be brother in law and afterwards came to know that the girl had no less than ten brothers like him and she was the only one! Imagine how adored and pampered she might have been!
My grand father narrated the incident to us in rueful voice,”Me and my friends felt very nervous of getting beaten up in the hands of her formidable brothers seeking retribution for our past teasings. We were evidently outnumbered and absolutely at their mercy, in their very own, home turf”
He then added in grave voice, “We were welcomed with wary eyes….. In the precipitous moment when I got to see your grand mother, I didnt dare lift my eyes to see her face, only her toes were sufficient for me to give my assent, minus any consideration whatsoever, on my part. Our safe return was top most priority that was playing on my mind.” Me and all my cousins were listening with rapt attention.
Then the marriage took place and he actually got to see his bride. She had beautiful features but was as dusky as he was fair. Yet the chemistry was instant. He was absolutely enamored by her charm and allure.
At that time the bride used to come to her in law’s place after the ‘dwiragaman’ (the second marriage ritual) which used to take place in one or one and half years time after the marriage. But the young man was so smitten by the new bride that he began visiting her at her father’s place secretly. without intimating his own family about the excursions. The bride’s family was unable to prevent him as he was their son in law after all!
The matter got spiralled out of gear at the time of ‘dwiragaman,’ when the new bride was standing at the door step of her in law’s place waiting to be ushered in. The entire family and relatives had assembled to welcome the new bride at her new home.
But everyone present there, were aghast to see a cute new born baby girl held in bride’s arms. The loud whispering started all around, how could she have borne a baby without her husbsnd visiting her!
My grand ma, who was listening silently, while readying her beetle leaf (her teeth turned brown,by having the addiction) , interferred at this juncture with a straight face,”Your grand pa was standing behind me like a dumb statue and imagine my predicament to explain the circumstances!” Then after many gentle though firm prodding through eyes on her part, he at last managed to retrieve his voice back. Collecting all the courage he possessed he at last owned up to his deed, and the next moment there were bouts of laughter spilling all around and grandma as new bride, heaved a sigh of relief!
Friends, marriage is a luck by chance, one has to eventually brace for it. Haven’t you heard the saying,”Shaadi hai Dilli (Delhi) ka laddoo, jo khaye wo pachhtaye, jo na khaye wo bhi pachhtaye”, meaning the marriage is that special sweet, either way you gonna repent it, whethet you eat it or manage to avoidi it. So why regret it before actually knowing how it is like!
What’s your take about the matter, do let me know.
Stay safe and happy, Adieu for now.