Criticism, the Boon or the Bane

Hello friends, when we do get criticized, what reaction is generally evoked in us? It would be a rarity, who doesn’t get offended by the act. It’s inherent to human nature to find fault in others but when the pistol is aimed at themselves, one tend to feel flustered and agitated.

If we can learn to take it in our stride and consider them in proper perspective, may prove a game changer to rectify our ways and actions. The famous saint-poet of Bhakti Yuga, Kabir had said, “Nindak niyere rakhiye, angan kuti chhawai; bin sabun pani bina nirmal kare subhai.’ It means, give shelter to your critic in the courtyard of your home, the person can keep you clean, everyday without any soap or water. That means the criticism if it’s healthy must be welcome to us, because it has the potential to change our erring ways.

The wise saint had again said, “Bura jo dekhan mai gaya, bura na miliya koi, jo man khoja apno, mujhse bura na koi.” Which means, I happenned to go in search of evil person, I didn’t find any, but when I happened to search my own heart, no body was more evil than me.

Friends the above two dohas(couplet) fairly sum up the human charecter and it’s intricacies. If we can retrospect and find out the drawbacks and faultlines on our own and mend it for good, no critic would be required. But then again a human would become an angel without any faults and all. So critics are an inevitable phenomena for us and have to brace it, however irksome it may feel.

I think it’s far better if one is ccriticized directly on the face at least there is a chance of it being genuine. Otherwise, if it comes to you from a third person, there is a fair chance of it being doctored and manipulated in the hands of the narrator and one end up more than angry, bruised and flummoxed to think sanely and the matter goes beyond redemption. It’s really very essential on our part to keep our cool while confronting criticism,or it has the potential to turn us into a bitter and disillusioned person.

We must nurture the segacity to decipher the real criticism from fake one, which are done just hurt the sentiment and dent the self confidence of a person. I shall give you an example, once I invited a few family friends for an impromptu birthday party for my husband. As it was an informal gathering I didn’t bother with the decor, but the food served by me was really nice and most of them were appreciative of it.

Then suddenly one of my female relation, quipped, in front of the gathering that the floor of my kitchen is sticky. I felt really insulted by this sudden outburst. She must have pointed me out in private, yet she chose the whole audience to put me down.

Afterwards when I gave attention to the floor, it was indeed felt sticky, due to all the home cooking(the Indian cuisine!!) Then I subsequently realized that our housemaid was really lax with her chore of wiping the floor. The drawback was duely taken care of, duely by me. Now I have become some sort of a cleanliness freak, taking matters into my own hands and can boast of a spick and span house that I diligently keep!

Friends, her criticism was fair enough but she could have let me know personally without putting me in a bad light among my other guests and that stings. Yet, I reformed myself and she herself is compelled to recognize it afterwards! Isn’t it great!!

So if the end result is good, all is well. What say?! Keep fending off unnecessary criticism and working on the real one and chage yourself for good that the persons themselves come to acknowledge it, albeit grudgingly!

Wish you all happiness and good luck. Adieu for now.

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