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Chasing The Shadows

Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow–Aesop

Hello friends, Getting into the profession of a teacher I have to interact with so many people. In the process, so many newer dimensions of human relationships are unfolding before me. One thing I particularly observed is the fickleness and  impermanence of a strong institution called marriage and the matter is really very concerning. A few days ago our judiciary has also observed that the practise of ‘use and throw’ culture has seaped into the marriages of today.

Calling it quits has become the norms intead of exception. Not very long ago, marriages especially in India were considered forever, irrespective of couples enjoying the congugal bliss or remain stuck with each other for life. I have myself seen so many examples where the either party are or rather were absolutely dissatisfied with each other yet they chose to remain  together for life.

I think it’s better to come out of toxic relationships. But, if it is broken merely on the whims and doubts of either side then it literally becomes the case of chasing the shadows and getting lost in the process.

In this fast paced world so many of the people have neither the time, the mindset nor the patience to get to the real substance. That’s working painstakingly on a relationship to make it work. Being accomodating and adjusting in a way that could weave smooth patterns of a life, forever together.

Why not, let the light of love and affection for each other throw away all the shadows existing in a relationship! A sensible and sincere talk can go a long way to smoothen the creases. Being a little selfless and caring for the needs and emotions of the other side, might do the trick.

It always feels good to hear the happily ever after stories. A whole lot of investments are required from both sides to make it happen. The true happiness is in being together as a family instead of going out, looking for it all over again.

Moreover, how anyone could forget that there are the emotions and welfare of children involved in it too! It would be always better to avoid wrecking havoc to the innocent lives, brought into this world by them only, by opting to go to their own separate ways.

Unfortunately I have witnessed some of them among my students and how disturbed and lost they look! It pains me no end, hearing the sad story behind it. Which could have been turned out a happier one if the both sides tried genuinely hard to work on the faultlines and try to reform their erring ways. We should all beware of loosing the substance in chasing the shadows.

The wise always gets to the bottom of the matter first then decide the next course of action. Think and take corrective actions before breaking something which are in fact the building blocks of the society. Because good and responsible citizens are got to be nurtured in a happy family.

Wishing you all health, happiness and peace. Adieu for now.

Picture courtesy: My better half!!


Published by MousumiSays

An ardent crusader to make the world a better and safer place to live in. Likes to remind the mankind their basic instinct of resilience in the face of adversity.

24 thoughts on “Chasing The Shadows

  1. Despite apparent modernization, Indian society has remained deeply patriarchal. Despite our girls becoming mostly strong, independent and working women, in marriage, many boys seem to still expect the old way of functioning, leaving it to the wives and mothers of their kids to cope with not only all the household duties but beyond as well. This imbalance is often one of the leading causes of friction and breakups.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The imbalance you mentioned is a part of toxic behavior a woman has to endure in a marriage. A realisation must come from both the sides to make the institution of marriage a success. Talking and solving the existing glitches between the couples in a patient and sensible manner, can save a lot of marriages. Genuine efforts should be put in by both the sides to make it work, especially when there are innocent children to consider.


    1. The sanctity and relevance of a marriage as a provider of a safety net in the form of a family, for all the stakeholders involved, must be restored, Rosaliene. It’s very much essential for a strong and robust society.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Katie. If there is love and commitment given and reciprocated in a marriage it is bound to be strong. What more one could ask for if there is genuine happiness without any shadows of suspicion, ego clashing etc.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. People have a huge need to be loved–that can only be met by God–and when they look to their spouse to meet that need–they will inevitably be disappointed. I believe great marriage start with both people having a relationship with God and experiencing His love and forgiveness and are filled with His power to enable them to love each other.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I hear what you are saying, Mousumi. However, sometimes things aren’t as straightforward as they may seem on the outside or to the onlooker. An example was when my son married his [now] ex-wife; he was only briefly happy. His ex-wife began to behave abusively with her language toward my son and physically hurt him by throwing heavy objects at him and beating him. People don’t often understand or believe a man when he is being abused by a woman as it’s always thought to happen the other way around. As much as my son tried to calm his ex-wife and treat her gently, her abuse continued until my son’s life was intolerable. I think, in circumstances like this, no amount of talking would make things better as she wasn’t prepared to listen or make changes in her behaviour. I feel that in cases like this, it is advisable to split up and separate. My son is now in a relationship that works on respect, love and care and is finally very happy. The two children (my grandchildren) have adjusted well and are happier than they were when they had to witness the abuse. I’d be interested to hear your view on situations like this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts … Ellie xx 🦢😘🕊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s really very unfortunate your son and granchildren had to endure such abuse. I would always say that it is far better to come out of toxic relationships….But when there are ego clashing, lack of trust or communication then couples the try to short it out. Sometimes a heart to heart talk or a simple gesture of genuine care and understanding helps to cast away the shadows and bring light and happiness back into a relationship. My warm regards to you Ellie. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I feel so glad and honoured. Thanks a lot….. She should definitely start writing the blog. It would give her a fine outlet to express her thoughts and feelings and get it read and appreciated by so many. My best wishes to her and you too!

        Liked by 1 person

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